Lost Among the Stars
by ZeroSumPhase
Summary: Liara is devastated in the wake of Shepard's death. While assisting the Alliance with the rebuilding effort, the Shadow Broker's network whispers a rumor almost too good to be true... and sends Liara into a tailspin as she works to unravel the truth.
1. Lamentations

Pain seared through her veins like lightning, the endless agony of her existence. On occasion, it receded to a dull ache, but it never seemed to go away completely. She couldn't forget. There wasn't enough ryncol in the galaxy to completely shut out the horror of what would be the remainder of her long life.

_Alone_.

She couldn't decide if waking to reality, or to the nightmares was worse.

_It's going to be one of those days_, Liara thought despondently. She lay in her bed, listening to the dull echoes of the rain outside her window. Reaching up and pushing aside the tattered curtain she glanced outside, and stared into the grey abyss of Earth's dark, cloudy sky.

_Shepard loved days like this, _she recalled. It was a conversation they'd once had in his cabin aboard the _Normandy_. He had told her how being raised in space made him appreciate weather- even bad weather.

Liara sighed, her head landing on the pillow again. _Eighteen months_. It seemed like Shepard had only died yesterday. Earth was a smoldering ruin, along with half the galaxy. The reapers had taken their toll on everyone, but it was worse here. At least, that was how Liara at first justified staying- to help the Alliance rebuild. Days like today made her realize it was far more likely that she remained because she craved the company of a human- _any_ human- to try and fill the agonizing void of Shepard's absence.

A dull pounding on the door stirred her from her thoughts.

_Door chime must not be working. Again. _ _The building is lucky to be standing at all_. The ramshackle apartments were a temporary home for Liara and many of the Alliance personnel. The walls were soot-stained, the floor was pitted and cracked, and most days, the water in the refresher was lukewarm at best. It was like this across most of the London Forward Operations Base- the Alliance was sinking far more resources into the well-being of the civilians, counting on their soldiers to tough it out a little longer.

The pounding on the door started again. For a moment, she considered not answering- pretending not to hear and hoping the person on the other side simply went away. Heaving a sigh, Liara threw the covers aside and stood.

"Just a minute." She walked to the small chest of drawers and pulled on an oversized t-shirt she'd recovered from Shepard's cabin. Liara turned and walked to the door slowly, trying to compose herself. Her hand hesitated above the door control. She took a deep breath, and stood straight, shoulders back before she pressed the button, opening the door slightly. She leaned her head toward the opening. "Yes?"

"Dr. T'soni? Admiral Hackett wanted to speak with you this morning regarding the trials for the new drive core. I'm to escort you when you're ready."

She nodded to the young officer- there were so many new faces wearing officer stripes. _New blood. Well, can't really be shocked, can I? Earth's population was almost entirely decimated. The Alliance is probably recruiting like mad. Anyone who survived the war is likely officer material at this point…_

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I'll be along shortly." The young man snapped a quick salute to her. For some reason, it made Liara smile. She closed the door, and turned on heel quickly- too quickly, and winced. Her leg still wasn't working at one hundred percent. _I'm lucky to have a leg at all. That reaper guarding the Conduit could've cut me in half… If Shepard hadn't called the Normandy to evacuate me…_

Liara shuddered, remembering- reliving- the last moment she'd seen her lover alive. Watching him run away from her… Hot tears slid down her face. _Goddess, just help me get through the day. _It was a prayer often thought, and just as often ignored. The searing pain in her chest was proof of that.

Liara walked from the door and made her way to the bathroom where she stripped and turned on the refresher, willing it to warm up. While she waited, she stared back at the asari in the mirror. The image was cracked and broken in several places, and there was a piece missing from one corner.

_Like me. I am the mirror._

Dejectedly, she stepped into the refresher and let the water wash over her crest, and run in rivulets down her body.

_Shepard._

_Goddess, help me hold back the tears._

Another battle of wills lost, she sank to her knees and bit her lip to stop the fine tremor in her jaw. She tried to spread the warm water over herself with her hands, but it did nothing to shake the cold she felt to the core.

Stepping out of the refresher unit a few minutes later, Liara changed into her normal work clothes for the day: basic Alliance BDU pants, along with an old and faded Alliance-issue NCO shirt. She fixed the collar, and went to close the drawer, but stopped. She reached into the drawer, and quickly pulled on Shepard's N7 hooded jacket. Liara zipped the hoodie to mid-chest and closed her eyes, running her hands over the soft fabric. With a sigh, she began composing herself. She blinked several times, and went about setting a polite, if slightly detached, expression on her face. Lastly, Liara pinned her badge that identified her as a 'civilian contractor' on the front of her jacket before walking out the door to follow the Lieutenant to the meeting. _Civilian contractor. Interesting title. _

She sighed heavily, mindlessly following the lieutenant. He stopped at a massive double-wide door, saluting her again.

"Just through here, Ma'am."

Liara smiled as kindly as she could muster. "Lieutenant, I have to ask… Why are you saluting me? I'm a civilian. Even my identification states I am not a member of the military or of Earth's government."

The young man lowered his hand slowly, and looked at the ground. He waited a moment before he raised his head, meeting Liara's eyes. "Because you were on _his_ crew." It was the way the officer said 'his' that made Liara's breath catch. "I don't care what title the Alliance brass wants to give you, Ma'am. Far as I'm concerned, you've earned that salute."

Liara swallowed the lump in her throat, hard. She had to try speaking twice before she managed a half-whispered, "Thank you, Lieutenant."

The officer nodded, and punched the control to open the door.

Liara entered the makeshift command center, finding her senses immediately battered by the hustle and bustle. Alliance men and women scurried around the room, datapads in hand. Repair workers spliced cable, hung monitors, adjusted settings. The room was organized chaos in motion. It reminded her a bit of the _Normandy'_s CIC. And with that thought, the fire rushed through her veins, threatening to bring her to her knees. _I've got to focus. It's going to be a long day._

Liara walked around the workstations, making her way to a command station near the front of the room.

"Admiral Hackett?"

The tall human turned. Liara marveled at the supreme commander of the Alliance Navy. His uniform was crisp and clean. His cap was straight, and his beard was neatly trimmed, not a hair out of place. "Admiral, I must admit, I'm confounded."

Hackett raised an eyebrow quizzically. "About what, Doctor?"

Liara held out her arms, and looked down, as if appraising herself. "I feel as though I picked up about 3 layers of dust from my quarters to here. Yet somehow, you appear…pristine."

The admiral tried to frown, and failed, breaking into a quiet chuckle. "When you put this uniform on as many times as I have, you learn a thing or two about it." A smile still played at the corners of his mouth as he picked up a datapad and passed it to her. "These are the specifications we've built the new drive core to. As best we can tell, all the readings are normal. At this point, the only thing we can do…"

She nodded. "Is launch the ship and test it."

The new drive core system was a spin-off of the Normandy's oversized core. Previously thought impossible to replicate accurately, Alliance engineers had surprised Liara by not only reverse engineering the Normandy's core exactly, but then also finding ways to scale the technology down further, thus allowing more powerful cores to exist within smaller vessels.

The first of the new drive cores had been built into a new model of Corvette-class recon ship. Smaller than the traditional Corvette class, the new model bore simplified and streamlined controls and a powerful VI, allowing for a smaller crew. The prototype vessel, aptly named the _Stargazer_, could house a crew of five comfortably, and if necessary, operate with just a solitary pilot. It was the prototype of these smaller cores that she had assisted with.

_Assisted with might be giving myself too much credit_, Liara thought. _All I've done is secured some of the more difficult to come by materials. Tali would've been far more suited to the engineering work… I think more than anything, Hackett keeps me around for company. Or perhaps as a reminder of friends we both lost during the war..._

The idea didn't bother her. It was a chance to help continue to rebuild the Alliance and, perhaps more importantly, it's what Shepard would've done.

Liara looked over the schematics again, and her brow furrowed with worry. _I certainly don't envy whoever gets chosen for this mission. So many variables, so much could go wrong… if even one calculation in the new core is off by so much as a fraction…_

She shuddered at the possibilities. "So, who… drew the short straw, I believe is the human saying?"

Hackett smiled and nodded, oddly pleased. "I've designated the mission Two-Alpha. Volunteer only. Sent the request out over the fleet's comm network two days ago. I got one reply. A pilot."

Hackett paused then, looking around the room at the various monitors and data streams. Liara was puzzled. _Something's not right. He's worried… about the pilot?...no, about _me_. About how I'll react… why? Oh, Goddess…_

Concern for her reaction over the pilot could only mean one thing- or rather, one person.

"Joker."

* * *

_Author's Note: First and foremost, thanks for reading this story. It's been a project rolling around in my head for some time, and it feels good to finally get it on paper. I'm not working on any kind of timetable or anything like that; updates will come as they can. Feel free to leave your feedback and first impressions- I'm always eager to see what people have to say._

_This story would be half of what it is now without the help of my amazing beta reader Owelpost and her fantastic red pen. If you haven't checked out her ME story Glacial Fire... you're missing out._

_Thanks again for reading! Until next time._

_-Zero_


	2. The Suicide King

Liara entered the base mess, a half-demolished school cafeteria. The rubble had been mostly moved into the far corner. There was gaping hole in the room's wall, covered by a sheet of plastic, which allowed a stream of the dull gray morning light in. The ceiling was sagging in many places, held up by makeshift supports. Her senses were assaulted by the accompanying sounds and smells: the conversations, the soft patter of rain against the roof, laughter, the sizzle of something on a grill, the often interesting aroma of human food. She stood in the doorway, and looked out over the sea of tables, and found Joker eating his morning meal alone, isolated in the far corner of the room. He looked different, and yet very much the same, she noted as she passed between tables, making her way toward him. Alliance regulation uniform, scruffy copper-colored beard… but beneath the normalcy, there was something else. Something more subtle. _It's probably that haunted look in his eyes. I recognize that look._

It was the same look that she saw on the face in the mirror every morning, before she forced the expression onto her face that proclaimed she was coping; the false smile, the feigned interest, the mock joy. That look was the inky darkness that dwells within; the void that made feeling things like joy or happiness a near impossible feat.

He didn't look up as she approached the table. "Mind if I join you?" She asked. _Why is it so difficult? I should feel such closeness to these people- the ones who were with us. But now that he's gone…_

Joker peered out from beneath the bill of his cap. "It's a free country. Or, I think it is." Joker appeared to ponder for a moment, and then nodded to himself. "Yeah, England is definitely a free country, so you should be alright."

Liara couldn't help but smile. Joker's quick wit had not escaped him. He pushed his plate of half-eaten eggs aside. "So, how's civilian life treating you, Liara?"

She shrugged indifferently, a sad half-smile on her face. "Not sure I'll ever look at anything the same. It's not as though I'm actually a civilian per se- I still have my…_other_ connections. 'Classified' was never really a term that applied to me. The military does try to remind me from time to time I'm not one of them, however."

"Yeah. When you're in, you're a guest; when you're out, you're a pest." Joker swirled the dregs of some kind of juice. "Don't know if you'd heard or not- they took the _Normandy_ from me. I'm starting to think it's going to be turned into a museum or something. Maybe they can use your old quarters as a gift shop?" He shrugged. "It's been dry-docked ever since…" His voice trailed off into uncomfortable silence.

"Seems ungrateful of them." Liara leaned back in her seat. "I would think after your service, they'd give you choice of assignments."

Joker gave a scoff. "Not really how it works. Or at least that's what they tell me."

Liara glanced about, suddenly aware that the din had receded considerably. The dining hall had quieted as the morning crowd cleared out and shuffled off to duty. With the exception of a few kitchen personnel, they were alone. _So why is he still sitting here?_

"So what _have_ you been doing, Joker?" she asked, her face growing serious. "I've been at this base ever since we returned to Earth, and I don't think I've seen you once."

He leaned back on two legs of his chair, rocking. "Oh you know. Flying shuttle, running important people, documents. Nothing as exciting as, say… outrunning an energy wave resembling a supernova coming from a crazy Prothean Crucible."

Liara knew he had meant it as a jest, but she couldn't bring herself to find it funny. Nothing about that day _ever_ seemed funny. It was the never-ending reminder that he was gone, and she had the next nine hundred or so years to mourn him. Liara closed her eyes.

_Focus._

Her calm and collected visage back in place, she cleared her throat and continued. "Admiral Hackett tells me you volunteered as the test pilot for the new drive core vessel."

He nodded. "I figure anything has got to be better than flying shuttles here. How Cortez could fly those things all the time is beyond me."

"Aren't you worried?"

"About what?" Joker asked. Liara examined his face closely, reading his features. _No_, she decided, _he's not kidding._

"Any number of things could go wrong. It could be a one-way trip. The drive core could vaporize you, or worse, malfunction and leave you marooned in space."

Joker mumbled something under his breath that Liara didn't quite catch. It sounded like 'too late' or something to that effect. Liara folded her hands on the table and leaned in closer, puzzled. "What was that?"

He sighed. "I'm marooned _here_, Liara. Everything is gone. My ship, my girl, my best friend…" He stopped rocking his chair, leaning close across the table. They were only inches apart, speaking in hushed tones. "I've got nothing. So what's a little suicide mission? Not like I haven't been on one before."

_He must be talking about the Omega-4 relay. I remember seeing Shepard before that mission. That was right after I'd become the Shadow Broker. _Liara's breath caught in her chest as she remembered the night before he'd left. How he'd taken her on a tour of the SR-2. How his lips had felt like fire on her skin…The pain came rushing back, tearing through her chest. Liara shook her head, willing the painful memories away.

_How can I convince him this is different? He seems so disheartened, so indifferent to everything…_

"You of all people should understand that Shepard won't be there to haul you out of the fire." She said quietly, ignoring the roaring in her ears that accompanied the pain in her chest. "No more inspiring speeches. No more leading the charge." Liara stopped, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Each breath felt like inhaling napalm, and exhaling broken glass.

_Goddess, it hurts just to talk about him… I miss him so much._

Joker stood from the table. "The truth is, I don't have any reason to not do this… And unless you can think of one- a real one- I'm going." He waited, arms crossed over his chest.

Liara stared at him for a moment, thinking carefully on her reply. He looked so serious, so unlike the Joker she remembered. _What would Shepard say?_

"The _real_ truth is, Joker… sometimes we do what's right in front of us, because we don't see all the alternatives around us. We blind ourselves; delude ourselves into thinking that this is the only way forward."

Joker appeared to consider her words before breaking into a lopsided grin. "I think you're confused- Vrolik Syndrome doesn't affect a person's vision."

Liara laughed softly and shook her head. "I think you've missed the point…"

Joker held up a hand to stop her. "Liara… I've gotta do this. I have to get away from this place. I look around, and everything I see reminds me of what we lost. I mean, look at these people. They just want to rebuild, go back to _normal_." He made a quotation motion with his fingers. "There is no normal; no going back. Our lives are radically different from what they were."

"What does any of that have to do with you taking this assignment?" Liara asked. "You're talking about wanting to leave Earth, fine. You could take a dozen different ship assignments-"

"They won't let me." He looked down at the table, as if ashamed, before looking up into Liara's startled face. "They won't clear me for full duty. Hell, I had to practically get on my knees and beg Hackett to let me take an assignment that no one else even wants. I'm not the same, Liara. Leaving Shepard behind like that…" He shook his head. "It did something to me. It messed me up. I'm…" He looked around, grasping for words, but Liara knew exactly what he meant.

"Broken." She finished. Joker could only nod. _And now I understand. Goddess. How many of us feel like this in the wake of your death, Shepard? Is it everyone you touched? Every life you saved? Or just those of us who were close enough to really know you?_

"Yeah, I guess broken is a good word. Kind of ironic, isn't it? A guy with brittle bone disease, and it's his mind that's broken." Joker sighed. "I have to do this. Maybe, if I can just start flying again, I can work past this. I tried to tell those quack doctors to let me fly and get all this out of my system, but they weren't really interested in listening. Something about putting hundreds of lives and millions of credits worth of equipment at risk or some nonsense." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "As if I'd ever crash a ship. It's not like I'm Vega or something."

Liara shook her head with a smile. "I don't know… I recall the Normandy making an emergency landing after the Crucible-" she stopped herself suddenly, all the laughter going out of her voice. She shuddered, and fought back the tears that rimmed her eyes, threatening to rain down and destroy her carefully built façade.

Joker stared at her intently, nodding. "Yeah. So… Looks like I'm not the only one who's broken."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks again to everyone reading the story! I have to thank Owelpost for her help with this chapter, and thanks to everyone else for reading chapter one and making me think that publishing this wasn't a half-bad idea after all :)_

_If your paint or photoshop skills are solid, or you've got a talent with a pencil, I'm looking for cover art. All credit will be given of course. Contact me for details if you're interested!_


	3. Damaged Goods

Liara could not dispute Joker's claim. _He's right, after all. I feel so lost every day, just going through the motions, constantly trying to get my bearings. It's not as if I have a clue what I'm doing. Staying on Earth… Goddess, what was I thinking? Everything about this place serves as a reminder of him._

It was then that the idea came to her. "When are you leaving for the drive core test?"

Joker shrugged. "Stuck in a holding pattern. Last I'd heard from Hackett, he was trying to talk some Alliance flight instructor into going." He shook his head. "They'd have to be crazy, though."

"So, minimum crew of two, and they'll let you go?" She asked.

Joker nodded an affirmative. "Generally for these kinds of missions, yeah. It's in the Alliance regs somewhere. Double redundancy and all that."

Liara closed her eyes. _Do it._

"So, you don't have a specific co-pilot in mind?" She asked, trying not to sound overly interested.

"Nah. It's Two-Alpha. Waiting for someone as crazy as I am to volunteer. I get the feeling I might be stuck here for a while." Joker grinned. "Why, you wanna go?"

Liara found herself nodding. "Yes, I think I would."

Joker stopped grinning. "Wait… seriously?"

Liara nodded again. "Yes."

Joker stepped closer and looked at her, as if weighing her words. "You're not kidding." he breathed.

Liara set her mouth in a firm line of determination. "Guess I should go tell Admiral Hackett, so we can stop being… what was the word you used? Marooned?"

Joker said nothing, and sat back down at the table to his plate of food. Liara planted her hands on her hips. "What, you're not coming?"

Joker shook his head, swallowing a mouthful of cold eggs before answering. "No way. You could probably sell tickets to that dance, though. I'm fine here, thanks. Have fun!" He put on an exaggerated grin and waved for effect.

Liara rolled her eyes and headed for the door. _I'm doing this. I'm _really_ doing this. Joker's right. Goddess, why didn't I see it before? There's nothing here for me- just like there's nothing here for him. His place is among the stars. What about me? What about _my_ place?_

Liara walked out of the ruined building and into the courtyard, heading for the command building. She pulled the hood of her jacket up as the rainfall picked up. The broken cobblestone path was marred and pitted, and the footing was anything but friendly. She picked her way across the former battleground carefully, still lost in thought.

_I don't belong anywhere; not anymore. The only place that felt right… was in his arms._

_And he's gone._

She nodded politely to the two Alliance guards at the doorway into the command structure before entering, stopping briefly to shake off the rain. She walked through the partially-painted hallways, past officers and maintenance crews.

_Getting off of this planet- even if only for a while- might be the best idea I've had in a long time. I see his face everywhere. I hear his words when someone else speaks. This place… it embodies everything Shepard was._

_Talk about being a glutton for punishment._

Liara turned the corner and stopped short at the command center's door.

_I need to do this._

Liara squared her shoulders and opened the door. She walked across the room to where the Admiral was standing, watching the Alliance data feeds, and announced her intention to fly the mission with Joker.

Hackett folded his arms across his chest, a look of concern on his face. "You want to do _what_?"

Liara nodded, as if to reaffirm what she'd said. "I'd like to volunteer for the drive core test as Joker's co-pilot, if the seat is still open."

Hackett sighed tiredly. "Doctor-"

"Please, Admiral. Joker and I are very much in the same place right now. Being here… it's too much."

Hackett seemed unconvinced. "Doctor T'soni, your work here has been invaluable. Our network-"

"Admiral." She interrupted. "I have given the Alliance _everything_. Your intelligence agents have access virtually every scrap of information I have. I've helped you rebuild, reorganize. Before that, I was aboard the Normandy for not one, but two campaigns- one against Saren and the Geth, and the other to stop the Reapers, which at this point I think we both know I feel is a victory won at too great a cost."

Hackett sighed again, leaning on his command console. "Liara, I know you're hurting right now. You have sacrificed for us all- perhaps more than anyone else. I'd be willing to give you any number of assignments- hell, I'd give you stripes and put you in a uniform if I had my way about it. Of all the things you could ask me for, please don't make it this."

Liara leaned over the console. "I have to do this." She closed her eyes. "Everything around here is a reminder of him. The uniforms. The jargon. The food. The equipment. The people." Liara leaned back, shaking her head. "I feel trapped here, Admiral. I keep telling myself that maybe I'll be alright if I can bury myself in the rebuilding effort, or this project, or that task- but I can't get past it. Not anymore." She locked her eyes with the Admiral's, putting weight into her gaze. "I thought staying here would be best. I was wrong. You have to let me do this."

Hackett regarded her carefully, his closed fist resting against his lip, as if considering Liara herself, and not her proposal. She watched as his face softened momentarily. It was subtle; the tightness around his eyes vanished for just a moment- but in that moment, Liara knew she had won.

Reluctantly, Hackett nodded. "Get some rest. I'll schedule the test flight, but the soonest we can get her off the ground will be 3 days from now."

Liara nodded graciously. "Thank you, Admiral Hackett." She turned to leave.

"One more thing, Doctor."

Liara hesitated, half-turning back.

"I used to tell Shepard this pretty frequently before he went on mission: be careful. I understand why Joker wants to do this- he's confident that if he pulls this off, I'll reinstate his flight status. You, on the other hand…" Hackett stopped, measuring his next words carefully. "Let's just say, I have unofficial reservations about your motivations for doing this. It'd be a hell of a loss for the Alliance, and for your people, if something happens out there. Don't make me regret it. You and Joker take care of each other- God knows there's no one else out there with you."

Liara left the command building in a rush. She returned to her quarters and began preparations for the journey immediately. Primarily, this involved a check of her messages on her omnitool.

_The Shadow Broker's work is never done._

Following the war, Liara had set about the arduous task of restructuring her intelligence network. She mapped out the locations of each source she used regularly, and then chose an agent she could trust to handle day-to-day operations of a specific sector or region of space. This had essentially streamlined the process of going through her data feeds: instead of 400 or more messages, she would get a brief from each region's lead agent. She could then follow up with either the lead agent, or the specific source of the information if warranted. The process had worked out better than she had projected.

The first message Liara opened was a brief from Feron, her friend and lead agent in the Terminus systems. He noted an interesting shift in the mercenary groups' behavior toward one another since the end of the war: in-fighting had decreased dramatically, and the mercs appeared to be working together.

_Glad the spirit of cooperation has survived beyond the war, _Liara thought with a roll of her eyes. She made a note in her omnitool to track the size and strength of the merc bands more closely over the next six months, along with their finances.

Liara worked through the rest of the briefs, making necessary notations. Lastly, she sent out a blanket notification that for the next six days, she was to be undisturbed, unless the information was Priority One.

Task finished, Liara realized how late the hour had grown. She stood and craned her neck, working out the kinks. She unzipped Shepard's hoodie and hung it on the bedpost, sighing as she ran her hands over the soft black fabric one last time. She stripped off the rest of her clothes and crawled beneath the covers, staring at the ceiling and wishing for sleep that would not come.

•._.••´¯``•.¸¸.•` ℓσѕт `•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•

Liara adjusted her shoulder harness strap for the tenth time as she and Joker worked through the pre-flight checks. Her familiarity with Alliance vessels did not end with the _Normandy_ systems, although she lacked Joker's seemingly intuitive knowledge. Watching his fingers fly across the holographic keypads, it would seem to a casual onlooker that Joker had flown this particular ship a hundred times. Liara took as many mental notes as she could, watching him work.

The _Stargazer_ was the latest and greatest the Alliance had to offer. State of the art everything, from the interface controls to the limited stealth drive modeled off the Kodiak, no expense had been spared to assure the fleet's newest model would succeed.

The plan at this point was simple: After launch, the _Stargazer_ would link up with the Sol relay, and set a course for Turian space. They would meet with a Turian escort once in the Trebia system, and return to Earth. Joker and Liara would keep a constant set of diagnostics running, and log as much data as they could about the new drive system, along with the overall vessel's system performance in open space flight and faster-than-light travel.

"Nav systems check." Joker lowered the diagnostic panel and brought up his flight control.

Liara verified their sensor and tactical systems again. "All set here."

"Great." Joker said. "Now we just need a few Elcor to tow us out to the runway, and a Krogan platoon to push…"

For the first time in months, Liara genuinely laughed. She and Joker had both been in high spirits. The days leading up to the flight had been a whirlwind, and now they were finally leaving Earth. For Joker, the prospect of being at the helm of something other than a Kodiak was making him giddy. For Liara, it was finally an escape.

After Shepard had died, she thought that working on Earth with the Alliance would be just the thing to help her transition. But now, she realized it had been an overwhelming experience. Everything about the Operations Base in London reminded her of Shepard. She'd lost count of the number of nights she'd either cried herself to sleep, or simply not slept at all.

"Alliance Control, this is _Stargazer_, requesting clearance for takeoff." Joker's hands practically trembled over the controls. Liara smiled.

_Goddess, we're actually leaving. It seems like it's been weeks to get to this point. Now, let's just hope the drive core works._

A crackled transmission came in over the comm. "_Stargazer_, this is Alliance Control. You are cleared for launch. Good luck and Godspeed."

Needing no further urging, Joker fired the thrusters, and the _Stargazer_ lifted into the sky. "She's no _Normandy_, but she'll do." He punched a few controls. "Prepare to break atmosphere." There was some chop, and then only the quiet hum of the ship's systems. Liara glanced out the viewport, taking in the view of the stars.

"It would be easy for a ship to get lost up there," she murmured.

Joker didn't glance away from the controls. "What's that?"

Liara shook her head, wiping away her tears. "Nothing."

* * *

_Author's note: Thanks all for hanging in there with me :) I promise, this next chapter... well, let's just say things are going to get REALLY interesting ;)_

_Gotta give a big thank you to Owelpost for her eyes, ears, and red pen skills on this one._


	4. A Fool's Errand

The trip to turian space took mere moments after linking the _Stargazer's_ systems with the Sol relay. A bright flash of electric blue-white light streaked across the viewports as the ship dropped out of relay transit. Liara ran a sensor sweep, checking the astrometric readings against known star charts for the Trebia system.

"Well?" Joker asked, glancing out the viewport. "I mean, it _looks_ like turian space. There's a planet. And another one over there…"

Liara shook her head with a laugh. "Sensors indicate this is, in fact, Trebia." Her console beeped, indicating a nearby vessel. "Must be the turian cruiser that's supposed to meet us." Liara opened a comm frequency. "This is the Alliance vessel _Stargazer_ to turian cruiser. Please respond." A moment later, a turian face appeared on the comm system's monitor.

"This is Commander Quinon of the cruiser _Trebian Dawn._ Welcome, _Stargazer_- we've been expecting you. High Command has authorized me to extend you every courtesy, and we invite you to visit Palaven and see the progress we've made since the last Alliance envoy visited."

Liara smiled at the offer. "Thank you, Commander. It would be a pleasure to see Palaven again. We have old friends on the surface. Perhaps you could arrange a meeting for us?"

The Commander nodded. "I can certainly try. Who are you acquainted with?"

Liara smiled politely. "Primarch Victus, and a wartime advisor of his, Garrus Vakarian."

Commander Quinon seemed to sit up even straighter. "I will notify High Command immediately. After I receive clearance, I'll transmit coordinates to you. Stand by."

The channel went dark.

Joker let out a laugh. "Did you just name-drop the guy who runs that planet?"

Liara nodded, slightly abash. "I suppose I did."

Joker wore a mock frown. "And here I thought you were going to go all Shadow Broker on him, and threaten to flay him alive with your mind."

Liara turned to him in shock. "Where did you hear that story?"

He scoffed. "Everyone knows that story."

Liara scowled, but said nothing. The comm chirped once, and the channel opened.

"I've been told that some ugly Alliance pilot and an asari are looking for me."

Liara smiled. "It's good to see you again, Garrus."

"Did he just call me ugly?" Joker called from the pilot's seat. "Coming from the guy with mandibles and permanent facial scarring? Yeah, okay."

Garrus only shook his head. "So, come to Palaven for a visit? I think I can manage to tear myself away for a quick tour. I'm sending the coordinates to a landing zone now. I'll have an aircar waiting for you."

Liara patched the coordinates to Joker's panel, and the _Stargazer_ accelerated.

"We'll meet you on the surface," Liara said, closing the channel.

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Liara's joy over their journey from Earth was dampened significantly once she and Joker entered Palaven's atmosphere. Her viewport was a moving picture of ashen destruction, although it was clear that construction was ongoing. Palaven looked very similar to Earth in that way. _At least the planet isn't burning anymore. I remember seeing the fires, visible all the way from Palaven's moon. I guess I'm lucky to be so long-lived. Maybe before I die, everything will resemble life again, and not merely aftermath._

Joker eased the _Stargazer_ into the mooring clamps, and they prepared to disembark. "It'll be nice to see Garrus and Victus again. I wonder what they've been up to." Joker mused as he shouldered his duffle.

Liara nodded, picking up her bag. "I'm sure Primarch Victus is quite busy trying to rebuild his planet. As for Garrus, last I'd heard he had been promoted to a special military appointment in Victus' cabinet." She followed Joker down the gangway to a waiting aircar.

Joker nodded, dropping their gear into the cargo space. "Yeah, I wasn't sure he'd be here. I thought maybe, you know, he decided to go clean up Omega again or something." Liara gave him an admonishing glare, but said nothing as they climbed into the aircar.

As soon as they were in, the driver sped away, leading them through the streets. From above, the destruction was more pronounced, but on the surface, it was clear that the rebuilding effort was immense. Crews of turians were everywhere. Scaffolding marched up the sides of dozens of buildings in progress. Vehicles moved every which way, carrying supplies to one site, or rubble away from another. The public service aspect of the turian culture was evident: no one was sitting idle; there were no 'civilians'. Every individual had a task, and they performed it without hesitation. Liara wished the rebuilding effort back on Earth could go as smoothly.

Eventually, the aircar pulled onto a landing pad in front of a very finished-looking structure. The building was simple; nothing was embellished or wasted. It was utterly utilitarian and practical in nature. Windows were small enough to act as defensible gun emplacements. At first glance, the decorative stone slabs spaced in front of the stairs looked purely ornamental, until one realized they made perfect barricades to shoot from behind.

It was from between these barricades that Garrus marched, half a step behind Primarch Victus. Liara noted he looked far more relaxed out of his armor, and wearing the blue-gray turian uniform of a high officer or statesman. Victus looked much the same as she remembered last seeing him on Earth: rigid, prepared for anything at a moment's notice. She did note an air of… something.

_They can finally relax, and it shows. No more fighting for survival, wondering what the next day will bring. That's what it is- they're relieved._

Liara couldn't help herself; as the aircar door opened, she practically leapt out and hugged Garrus fiercely. "It's good to see you again."

He laughed. "If I had known the Alliance was sending you two, I would've ordered up a marching band."

Joker shook Garrus' hand with a grin. "Garrus, without your armor, you almost look like I could take you."

Garrus' eyes narrowed. "If only your shoulder wouldn't break when you fired a rifle."

"Aww now that's just cold." They shared a laugh. Then, Garrus stepped aside, saluting.

"Primarch, the Alliance pilots."

Victus stepped forward and smiled. "Well, I see they sent us the best. Dr. T'soni, Lieutenant Moreau, it's good to see you both again… and under such better circumstances." He gestured for everyone to head into the building.

"How is the rebuilding effort here on Palaven?" Liara asked as they walked.

"Progressing steadily. We've got basic infrastructure restored planet-wide: power, water, communications. We also have a significant number of government and military ground facilities restored. The living quarters and commerce sectors are about twenty percent complete." Victus smiled. "It hasn't been easy, but we'll get everything into shape."

"So soon?" Liara marveled. The group made their way into a simple office, and sat around a small table in the center. The distinctions between turian offices and the buildings she'd become accustomed to on Earth were stark: there was no artwork adorning the walls, no sculptures or bookshelves. The office, like the building itself, was utterly practical. _Except for that_, Liara thought with a smile as Victus walked to a small bar in the corner, and poured drinks for everyone. "While I don't have a large supply, I do keep a small stash of human liquor here. It makes diplomacy so much… smoother." He turned to Liara. "I'm not sure I have anything-"

"I'll take a glass of that scotch you're pouring for Joker, thank you."

Victus nodded his approval. He brought the four glasses to the table on a tray, setting it in the middle. Everyone drank.

Liara swallowed slowly, savoring the flavor that came with the liquor. _I remember the first time I tried this with Shepard. It was right after we took down the yahg… in his cabin on the Normandy…_

Liara shuddered, and looked down at the floor to hide her face, her cheeks blazing as she recalled what came after. The ache in her chest returned with a vengeance, as if seeking to make up for the time it lost on the journey to Palaven. Liara breathed deeply before she spoke. "This is excellent scotch, Primarch."

"You'll have to thank General Vakarian- he so wisely procured it."

She nodded. Confident her face would not betray her, she looked up again. "I'd heard you'd been promoted, but I didn't realize it was to such a high office. Congratulations, General."

Garrus shrugged. "You know these political types. Do something worthwhile and they feel like they owe you a favor. I figure maybe this way, instead of shouting about something like the reapers at the top of my lungs, next time I can just order people to listen."

Everyone laughed again. Victus poured another round of drinks.

Joker gestured toward the window. "The city looks amazing. The amount of construction going on is crazy."

Garrus leaned back in his seat. "Well, the turian hierarchy is essentially one big military. All of those services are maintained and calibrated by the military's engineers."

Joker leaned over in his seat and pretended to whisper to Liara, "been here less than ten minutes and Garrus said 'calibrate' already."

Liara gave Joker a sidelong glance, shaking her head. She turned to Garrus, her expression growing serious. "Did any of your family make it off Palaven?"

Garrus took another pull from his drink, then nodded. "Thankfully, my sister survived. Not sure how she managed, and…" he sighed. "Frankly, I'm not sure I want to ask."

Liara nodded in understanding. "It's a lot to deal with. I feel like in between technical meetings with the Alliance, all I do is attend funeral services and memorials."

Victus raised his glass. "To the fallen." The others joined him in his toast solemnly.

Garrus set his glass down, and turned to Liara. "How have you been, Liara?"

_Don't fall apart._

"It's been... difficult," she began, choosing her words carefully. The searing heat in her chest threatened to consume her entirely. She took a shallow breath before continuing. "I make an effort to bury myself in work. Goddess knows there's so much to be done." She took another sip of her liquor, letting it sit on her tongue for a moment, and tried to dispel the sense of a raging inferno traversing through her insides. "I miss him, Garrus," she half-whispered.

He nodded gravely. "I do too, Liara. I often wonder what Shepard would be doing in my position. More often than not, I go with that instinct- because it's the right thing, the decent thing. That's the legacy he left me. Do what's right, no matter the cost."

_Keep it together._

She nodded, and smiled softly. "That's a lovely way to honor him, Garrus." She bit the inside of her lip, willing away the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks.

Victus raised his glass again. "To humanity's hero. Perhaps the finest soldier in the galaxy."

_To you, my love._

They drank, and sat in mournful silence.

Liara's omnitool chirped, breaking the somber moment. She quickly silenced the device, apologizing. "I thought I had made it clear that I would be unavailable for a few days. If you'll excuse me for a moment?"

_There is only one person who would contact me now, with that encryption protocol, and it would be life-or-death. Feron, what could possibly be so important?_

Liara walked outside to a balcony. Night was falling on Palaven, and the sounds of construction were slowly dying off as the city prepared to rest. Liara glanced about, checking for any signs that someone else could see her message. Satisfied she was alone, she activated her omnitool. Opening the message was the first shock: the encryption Feron had used far surpassed their normal communications protocol. It took her nearly a minute to remember the bypass codes, and the message appeared on her omnitool's holographic screen:

**Agent F- Shadow Broker. Face-to-face required. Top-drawer information, highest priority. Request meeting protocols. Awaiting instruction.**

Liara regarded the message cautiously. The possibility of a trap to lure out the Shadow Broker was ever-present, but after considering not only the urgency, but the level of encryption used, Liara decided to reply. She quickly calculated travel time to her destination, and then replied:

**Shadow Broker- Agent F. Meeting request acknowledged. Location F12-18-12. Security protocol Red.**

She double-checked the message before sending. _Arcturus Station; I can be there in 18 hours; wait no longer than 12 hours after scheduled meeting time; destroy the intel and abort if anyone other than myself arrives… Goddess, what could be so important? I haven't received a message like this from Feron since before the war…_

Liara sent the message, and quickly put her mind to her next task: she needed to get off Palaven immediately. Liara opened her omnitool again and pulled up a listing of operatives in the sector. After viewing and rejecting several dossiers, she located a turian operative named Merin who had access to a small freighter.

_Perfect._

Liara sent a message immediately, instructing Merin to prepare her vessel for transit, and to expect 'Agent T'soni' to meet up with her for extraction.

She returned to the office to find Victus gone; only her two former shipmates remained.

"Everything alright, Liara?" Garrus asked. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you've seen a ghost."

She smiled politely and sat down, taking another sip of her drink. "Just tired. It was an exciting flight."

Garrus nodded in understanding. "You must be exhausted. I can arrange quarters for the two of you for the night if you'd like? Head back to Earth tomorrow?"

Liara nodded quickly. "That would be wonderful, Garrus." The sniper-turned-statesman nodded, and left the room. Liara turned in her seat to Joker.

"Joker, I have to go, and I can't wait. I need you to trust me right now. I'm leaving Palaven as soon as possible."

Joker nearly leapt from his seat, his hands flying as if to ward her off. "Uh, Liara… did you just happen to forget you're on the Alliance payroll right now? In the middle of a military mission, no less?"

Liara stood and placed her hands on his shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes. "I don't have time to explain."

Joker shook his head violently. "Liara…Hackett will flip if you go off script right now. He trusted us to take this ship out and come home. You botch this, and you can kiss whatever credibility and goodwill you've built up with the Alliance goodbye. Besides, how are you going to leave? And where are you gonna go? What's so-"

Liara sighed, lowering her hands. "Joker, stop. _I don't have time for this_. You know who I am and what I do." She gave him an intense look. "I have to go. Stay here for the night, and fly the _Stargazer_ home tomorrow. When you land, you can report me missing- just tell them you have no idea where I went."

Joker let out a half-laugh. "You mean, tell the truth?"

Liara gave him a nod. "Something like that." She returned to her seat and finished her drink. "Don't tell Garrus anything. I'll be gone before you wake."

Joker looked like he was going to say something else, but Liara silenced him with a glance. It was clear that the usual polite scientist persona had been tucked away somewhere, while the ruthless and cunning Shadow Broker persona had come out to play.

Garrus walked back into the office. "I have some rooms set up for you in the foreign dignitary quarters here. They're not exactly luxurious, but… well, we all slept on the _Normandy_, so I'm sure they'll do."

Liara and Joker followed Garrus as he led them down several hallways to another wing of the building. Garrus stopped and pointed to two doors. "The rooms are all the same, so take your pick. I'll be by in the morning to see you off."

Liara smiled, and hugged him again. "Thank you, Garrus. We'll see you tomorrow." Liara picked one of the rooms.

Joker's room was directly across the hall from Liara's. He gave Liara a look of concern as he turned to close his door. Liara said nothing as she pressed the button on the control panel, closing her door.

She stood at the door, counting the minutes. Finally, she could wait no longer. Liara ran into the corridor, and fled from the building.

* * *

_Author's note: Whew that was a long one! _

_Thank you all for reading and for your reviews. I started this story not really knowing if I wanted to publish; I'm glad I've decided to let you all into my own little version of Liara's world. Big shout-out to Owelpost for her keen eyes on this chapter. We're starting to get into the meat of the story here, so I'll try to keep updates as frequent as I can. _

_Still looking for some cover art- if you or a friend might want to take a stab at it, shoot me a message and we'll talk.  
_

_Until next time!_

_-Zero_


	5. Empty Spaces

Merin was a quiet companion. Liara doubted they'd exchanged more than two dozen words on the entire trip. "You must be Agent T'soni. Get aboard," had been the extent of their conversation on the planet, and once Liara gave Merin the destination, the turian simply nodded and headed for the cockpit to set a course.

"Is there anything I can do to help you while we're in flight?" Liara asked, mostly out of politeness.

Merin regarded her for a moment, working her mandibles before she replied blandly in her gravelly voice, "sleeping quarters are that way," she pointed. "Find a rack if you're tired."

_I've got some strange people on the payroll. _

Liara made her way to the crew quarters. The room was small enough that if she spread her arms wide, she could touch both walls. At each end of the room, a double-bunk had been built into the bulkheads.

_I've certainly slept in worse. Some of my dig sites didn't even have proper beds._

Liara crawled into the bottom bunk fully clothed. It was only a few minutes before exhaustion took her.

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Liara woke to the sound of an explosion, and Joker's voice on the overhead comm. "Kinetic barriers down! Multiple hull breaches! Weapons offline!"

The ship rocked again, and Liara was thrown from her bunk. She ran for the door, slamming the control pad and willing the door to open faster. Running at full tilt, her boots pounded across the deckplates. The scene was chaos: flames licked at her heels as a nearby electronic suite exploded. Bodies with familiar faces littered the gangways. Liara kept running.

"Where are you?" she yelled. She rounded a corner as another terminal exploded to her right. "Damnit!" Then suddenly he was there, standing in front of her, clad in his black N7 armor. His back was to her, but as she stepped closer, he turned to face her.

"Liara." He smiled softly.

She looked around in confusion. The _Normandy_ was falling apart around them. The smell of burning equipment and the accompanying smoke filled the air.

"I'm dreaming." she whispered. He nodded, and opened his arms. Liara went to him and pulled him close, breathing him in. He placed a hand under her jaw, tilting her face up, and gazed into her eyes.

"Don't lose hope."

"Shepard-"

With a gasp and a ragged breath, Liara awoke to find herself back in the cramped bunk aboard Merin's freighter. She slammed her fists into the mattress, tears scalding her cheeks.

_Goddess, help me._

Slowly, Liara pulled herself from the bed. Although she was certain she'd slept several hours, she felt lethargic. Walking to the refresher across the corridor, she splashed water on her face from the sink, and stared into the mirror.

_Focus._

Liara opened the door to find Merin standing before her. "We're here."

Liara's blinked twice in surprise. "How long was I asleep?"

Merin looked at her, and her mandibles flicked once before settling alongside her jaw. "Awhile."

Liara followed Merin into the cockpit, seating herself in the co-pilot's chair. She looked out the massive viewport, and shivered at the sight. The debris field was all that remained of Arcturus Station, once the home of the Alliance and Hackett's Fifth Fleet. _Nothing but a cold grave for some 45,000 people, now. How many sites just like this exist in nearly every system? The reapers killed so many…_

The sensors chirped a warning; another vessel was approaching. A frequency opened on the ship's comm. A mechanically altered voice blared through the speakers.

"Vessel, this is the _Vanguard_. Identify and code in."

The words 'code in' were the first clue. This was one of her agents, requesting an identity challenge. Liara keyed up her own vocal distorter from her omnitool, and replied. "_Vanguard_ this is the-" she turned to Merin with a shrug.

"_Reluctant."_

Liara almost laughed aloud as she turned back to the comm terminal. "This is the _Reluctant_. Sending that data now. I was held up at a poker game. Respond." Her own verification done, she awaited Feron's confirmation nervously. Liara tried to set aside the fact that her verification was a reminder of Shepard, and one of his favorite past times. She suppressed the ache in her chest, and waited.

"_Reluctant_, I am sending my data." Liara opened the data packet on the ship's computer. The data packet was a biometric reading: retina, fingerprint, and blood sample. Liara compared the biometric data to that stored in her omnitool. "Your identification is accepted. Proceed with docking."

The _Vanguard_ pulled alongside, and began to extend a docking collar. Liara had only a few minutes until the collar pressurized, and she would disembark to Feron's ship. She turned to Merin.

"Thank you for a very pleasant trip."

Merin nodded. "The Broker ordered it. I obey, and get paid. You're welcome all the same."

The _Reluctant_ computer chimed an all clear. Hard seal had been established between the two ships. Liara opened the door and smiled as she strode across the gangway.

"Liara, it's good to see you." Feron smiled as Liara crossed the bridge. Once aboard, he sealed the hatch behind her, and retracted his docking collar. Liara watched as Merin and the _Reluctant_ turned back for the mass relay.

Feron led the way into the ship's tiny galley, the only real communal space on the _Vanguard_ aside from the cockpit. As they sat across from one another, Liara tried to contain herself, but she was positively agitated. "What's so important that we meet in the middle of nowhere, Feron?"

The drell looked abashed. "Forgive me if I caused alarm, but I wanted to make sure you understood how important this might be. I won't lie though: it _could_ be nothing."

Liara's face dropped. "_Nothing_? Feron, what-"

He held up his hands in defense. "Hear me out." Feron took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I received a data transmission from a source on Omega two days ago. I wanted to bring it directly to you, and let you judge its importance."

Liara nodded, trying to curb her ire. "Feron, I'm probably a few hours away from being declared _missing_ by the Alliance. Do you understand what happens to civilians who go missing with security clearance like mine? Once they figure out it wasn't a kidnapping, I'm going to be hunted down. I broke promises to friends, and have likely made some people very angry. Please tell me what's going on already."

The drell swallowed hard. "The source claims to have seen Commander Shepard on Omega. Alive."

Liara said nothing for a long time.

_It's not possible. He's gone. The source is wrong. The source _must_ be wrong. Shepard is everywhere on the vids these days. The source got confused, saw something they wanted to see… nothing more. He's dead. Shepard died on the Citadel after he activated the Crucible. It can't be him. It's impossible._

…_or is it?_

Liara thought hard for a moment. It seemed unlikely to her that a second clone of Shepard existed, aside from the one that had tried to steal the _Normandy_ during the vessel's last dry dock. His resurrection was impossible without the Project Lazarus data, which was- at best- preserved on a Cerberus computer somewhere on a distant station with only a handful of people knowing its location; at worst, the data had been destroyed or lost.

The silence stretched on as Liara thought up and then ruled out possibilities. No vessels of any kind had left the Citadel after it docked with the Crucible- Liara had personally reviewed hundreds of hours' worth of gun camera footage from fighters, cruisers, frigates, and dreadnaughts that took part in Operation Shield. She knew, perhaps better than anyone, that Shepard was resourceful. She'd clung to hope in those days, watching film after grainy film, trying to find signs of life as the Crucible emitted its eerie red light.

_It can't be. There was no chance for escape. No way for him to make it off the Citadel. _

_And yet…_

Following the destruction of the reapers, with all haste, she ordered several Shadow Broker recon elements to infiltrate the crews tasked with salvaging the wreckage, looking for any sign of Shepard. His body was never recovered- a point she argued with Alliance Command ad nauseam- but the Admiralty had made a fair counter-argument: thousands of bodies would not be recovered. An overwhelming majority of both the living and dead that had been taken up to the Citadel via the Conduit would never be seen again; certainly none of them seen alive.

_If I had to give odds on anyone surviving that mess, it would've been Shepard. But if that were true- if he survived…_

Liara's breath caught in her chest at the thought, and she closed her eyes.

_If that were true… why hasn't he come back to me?_

When she looked at Feron, Liara realized she was standing, and had no idea how she'd gotten there. Looking around, and more than slightly embarrassed, she sat down. It took her several tries before she could speak.

"That's not possible," she said softly.

Feron nodded. "That's what I thought too, so I followed up on the message. The physical description matches- sorry, no video or pictures from the source-"

"What?" Liara interrupted. "Why not?"

Feron held up his hands again in defense. "Hey, I didn't say the tip was perfect. He didn't send any. Just a message, saying he'd seen something he characterized as 'odd'. He saw a guy who has an extremely striking resemblance to Commander Shepard working down in the shipping docks on Omega."

Liara's brow furrowed. "Why would Shepard be-" she stopped and shook her head violently, gripping her head in her hands.

_It's not him. It can't be. Shepard is dead._

…_But what if it is him?_

"This is ridiculous," she whispered. And then, she was crying.

Feron looked about uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, Liara."

"It can't possibly be him, can it, Feron? He died on the Citadel… It can't be…" she sank into her seat, head in hands.

_What if it is? _The thought came again, unbidden, unwelcome into her mind. _I can't go chasing ghosts and look-alikes. I need closure. I need this to be over. I thought this was over… Goddess, help me._

_Closure_.

Liara realized there was only one way to be truly sure. She sat up then, drying the tear stains from her face. She took a deep, cleansing breath and let it out slowly before turning to Feron.

"Where did our source last report seeing him, Feron?"

Feron sighed. "Liara, look… I know I work for you, but really… this is one piece of information I should've just forgotten about. Don't do this to yourself."

Every fiber in her body agreed with what Feron was saying; every fiber but one.

"Where, Feron?" she asked again quietly, not meeting his eyes.

Feron pulled up a copy of his correspondence with the source. "It was just the one sighting, on the docking ring. I don't know which dock specifically, or what ship he was working on."

Liara sighed in frustration. "The source didn't follow him? Why not?"

Feron shrugged. "Look at it from his perspective, Liara: he's there to report on strange or interesting things. No one told him, 'keep an eye out for Commander Shepard, he might be dropping by to do some heavy lifting'. The sources on Omega don't get involved much. Too much risk, not enough reward. They report in, that's it. The investigating part is generally up to me. If I want to follow up, I get a more senior agent to look into it, or, if the situation calls for it, I handle it myself."

Liara made a mental note to herself to sit down with Feron at a later date and work out a much more in-depth system for tracking their sources and information in the Terminus systems.

She stood from the table. "We need to leave. You're taking me to Omega. Now."

She gestured, and Feron stood, turning for the cockpit.

"I almost forgot this." Feron reached below the table, and came up with a small shoulder pack. After he checked the contents, he held it out to her. Liara opened the pack to find an M-4 Shiruken submachine gun. "If you're going to Omega, I thought you might want these. The bag's got some spare thermal clips as well, and a few phosphorous grenades on bottom." He sighed. "Let's get going."

She smiled and accepted the gifts. Then, she threw her arms around Feron's neck. "Thank you, Feron." She released him, and he headed into the cockpit.

* * *

_Author's Note: How far will Liara go to discover the truth? This is a question I find myself asking as I write each and every chapter. I hope you're enjoying the journey as much as I'm enjoying writing it. __Big Thank you to Owelpost for her eyes on this, and thanks to all of you for your reviews- it's always great to read your feedback :)  
_

_Until next time!_

_-Zero_


	6. Perfect Stranger

The _Vanguard_ arrived at Omega without incident. Liara took up the co-pilot seat next to Feron as he guided the ship into the docks.

"When we land, I'll need you to set up a meeting with Aria T'loak."

Feron gave her a double-take. "Why would you want to meet with her?"

Liara secured her M-4 to her belt, and pulled Shepard's hoodie down over the top of the weapon. "First, because she's got eyes and ears everywhere on this station. She may already know where Shepard is, and I won't have to waste time searching. Second, she's well connected, and I need a ship, because you're leaving."

Feron's expression became even more confused. "What?"

"I'll need a place to stay once I've located Shepard- somewhere I can sit with him and figure out what exactly happened here." Liara pocketed two of the phosphorous grenades. "The only person I can trust in this sector to find a well-hidden and properly secured safehouse is you."

Feron sighed. "I've got just the place. I'll send you a message when it's ready." He eased the _Vanguard_ into the docking clamps. The ship shuddered once, and all was still.

Liara stood and walked with him to the hatch. "I'll wait here. Be careful, Feron."

He nodded. "You don't have to remind me."

Liara smiled, and pulled him into a one-armed hug. "I know." She released him. "Now go."

Feron disembarked, and Liara found herself alone. She sat at the table in the galley, staring at the dull metal surface as her mind raced.

_Aria's never been cozy with the Alliance, so I doubt I'll have to worry about her turning me in. I'll have to see how generous she's feeling… maybe she'll even help me to find Shepard. The two of them had an interesting working relationship…_

Liara sighed.

_So many unknowns._

The hatch opened, and Feron entered. He looked agitated, nervous. "I got that meeting all set up. Some of Aria's men are here to escort you."

Liara could read between the lines well enough to know Feron was begging her not to go, but she was resolute. She stood from the table. "I'll be waiting for your call about that thing we discussed."

Fernon nodded. Liara stepped out the hatch, and waited for it to close before she turned to the escort Feron had mentioned: Two krogan in full armor, and a batarian.

The batarian was grossly normal and completely nondescript. His skin was typical of batarians- a pale shade of yellow-grey, and his face wore the perpetual frown of his kind. One thing stood out to Liara, however: this batarian had money. His black and gold armor was in excellent condition; an uncommon trait on Omega.

"Doctor T'soni." the batarian nodded in her direction.

Liara stood on the gangway, momentarily considering turning around and leaving. She then remembered why she came, and stepped down onto the platform.

"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, Mister …?" she cocked her head and raised a brow expectantly.

"No 'mister', just Bray. I work for Aria."

Liara nodded in understanding. "Of course." She gestured to Bray and his bodyguards. "Lead the way."

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The pulsing beat of Afterlife shook her jaw as Liara took her seat on the plush sofa. Across from her sat the self-proclaimed leader of Omega. Aria T'loak looked much the same as Liara remembered: feral and cunning eyes, with her lithe posture and movements that reminded her of a great cat from Earth. She smiled inwardly at the thought.

_With the razor-sharp claws and teeth to match, I'd wager._

"I apologize for not announcing my visit," Liara began. _It never hurts to try humility first. I can always be rude later._

Aria snorted. "Do you believe that lies sound sweeter coming off a honeyed tongue, Liara? And you _did_ announce your visit- where else do people go when they run from the Alliance?" At the word 'Alliance', Aria's eyes met with Liara's. All sense of pretense was gone in that momentary exchange. Liara sighed, and her shoulder's drooped slightly.

"It was necessary and unavoidable. I had to come to Omega immediately."

Aria leaned back, stretching her arms across the back of the sofa and crossing her legs. "And what possible interest could a scientist who specializes in the Prothean civilization have on Omega? Last I checked, we hadn't unearthed any relics in the mines." Bray laughed from his post standing beside her, a grunting, growling sound. A look from Aria silenced him. She turned back to Liara. "Well?" She raised a brow questioningly.

Liara licked her lips, choosing her words carefully. "I heard an interesting rumor, and wanted to investigate it myself." Aria gestured for her to continue. Liara hesitated before she announced, "an acquaintance here on the station thought they saw Commander Shepard."

Aria's face grew serious, no longer amused. It was as if the game of cat-and-mouse she had been playing with Liara was suddenly boring.

"That seems unlikely, considering the last task I'd heard Shepard undertook involved a rather big boom." Aria crawled across the sofa, her movement catlike. She brought her face to Liara's ear and whispered, "and his hand on the trigger."

Liara closed her eyes, holding back her tears. Then, a flash of rage cross her face. Before Aria or her guards could react, Liara's blue-white corona surged, and she seized Aria by the throat.

Bray reached for his pistol, but Liara chided him. "You move, she dies. I could crush her windpipe before you even had it pointed." Liara stood, dragging Aria up with her. She held the Omega Queen over her head, feet dangling helplessly.

"You…ugh… disappoint me… Bray," Aria croaked. She looked into Liara's face, regarding her for a moment. Liara bathed in blue-white biotic aura, cold and calculated anger radiating from her features.

"I would remind you, Aria, that the man you speak of was mine. I loved him. And…" she pulled Aria's face an inch from her own, articulating each word clearly in staccato. "I… will…not…have…him…disrespected." With that, she suddenly released Aria, who dropped to her hands and knees, coughing. She took several ragged, deep breaths before she half-crawled back up onto the sofa. Bray's weapon was out and pointed in an instant, but Liara ignored him. Aria straightened herself out, adjusting her neck in several directions. She waved Bray off, and he begrudgingly holstered his weapon. She turned to Liara then, her gaze full of amusement.

"My, my. Wasn't sure you had it in you, Liara."

Liara sighed, gesturing in frustration. "I didn't come here to play games, Aria! …I just need to make sure it's not him." She sat back down, head in her hands. "I can't begin to tell you what it's like. The not knowing. The doubt. The uncertainty."

Aria waved a hand dismissively. "If for no other reason than to stop these damned Alliance agents from crashing down on me, I'll help you. Anything to get you off this station quickly. Word reached me yesterday that they were seeking information on your whereabouts. It seems the Alliance believes you'd head this direction as well."

Liara's expression turned to one of horror. "Anyone who saw me arrive could report my whereabouts to the Alliance! What if I was recognized?"

Aria laughed, throwing her head back. "You have no idea how things work here. No one reported you, because I didn't tell anyone to." She stood. "I guess Shepard never taught you the only rule Omega has?"

Liara shook her head and said wryly, "Gee, I don't think it ever came up."

Aria smiled, turning to look out over the club. Somehow, the expression reminded Liara of how a varren looked at its next meal.

"Don't fuck with Aria."

Liara nodded. "I'm glad we've reached an understanding." Aria took her seat again.

"So, where did your acquaintance see this imposter?"

Liara's brow furrowed. "You don't think it's him?"

Aria let out a snort. "Shepard may have been the best soldier the Alliance had- he may have been the greatest soldier in the galaxy. But we saw the video feeds, and the few mercs that made it back here after the war had lots of stories to tell. No one could have survived that mess." Aria turned, and regarded Liara strangely. "You think it's really him?"

Liara shrugged helplessly. "I have no idea. The scientist in me agrees with you, Aria: the massive amount of energy released from the Crucible, the explosion... No organic being could withstand that." She looked out over the club, watching people mingle, dance, and laugh. "The part of me that loved him, though… that part isn't so sure."

Aria nodded, a knowing smile playing at the corners of her lips. "He was something of an enigma, wasn't he? I remember when Shepard came back to help me toss Cerberus off of Omega. Even then, without me knowing, he worked his magic over me, and I let that weasel Petrovsky live."

Liara smiled, a tear rolling down her face.

_Is it like this with everyone, Shepard? Did every person you ever helped in some way, great or small, feel the good in you? Is there anyone you ever encountered whose life you didn't change for the better?_

"He had that effect on people." She whispered, wiping away the teardrop.

Aria nodded. "Bray, escort Dr. T'soni to the docks and find her mystery man. Assist her in any way she asks, up to and including putting a bullet in anyone that gets in her way. And Bray." She leveled a wicked gaze at the batarian. "Don't fuck this up."

Liara stood, and followed Bray off the balcony, and through the club to the back entrance. When they exited, Bray opened his omnitool and keyed a command. Liara assumed that Aria's veiled threats would not be taken too seriously, and Bray would lead her to the docks by himself. As they stood outside the door, waiting, she grew impatient.

"Is there something we're waiting for?"

Bray nodded. "Your escort."

Liara's eyes narrowed. "I thought _you_ were my escort."

Bray shook his head. "Not just me." He inclined his head down the walkway. "Them, too." Liara followed his gaze to a squad of mercenary soldiers coming toward them.

"Is this really necessary?" She asked. "Am I in danger here?"  
Bray checked his weapon. "Don't know, don't care. Aria says protect you at all costs. She's not screwing around when she gives an order like that."

After the mercs formed a protective guard around the two of them, they left the lights and pulsing sounds of Afterlife behind. The streets virtually cleared in front of the cadre of mercenaries as they marched swiftly toward Omega's shipping docks, and in minutes, Liara found herself standing in the dock's control center.

"Bray, I need to go find Shep- this person. I'd prefer to go alone from here. While I'm gone, can you get me access to Omega's shipping logs, inventories, and any surveillance from the docks?"

The batarian nodded, and issued orders to his men as Liara stepped out onto the docking ring's concourse. The docking ring was huge. Running completely around the station, the ring had bays enough to fit well over one hundred vessels, in varying sizes. Some bays were designed for freighters, others for passenger liners. The docking ring was abuzz with activity: people coming and going, cargo changing hands, and element zero coming from the mines in massive shipping containers being loaded onto various ships.

_I've got to find him._

Liara's pulse was racing as she moved from one bay to the next, quickly checking out the crew, looking for anyone who remotely resembled Shepard. Her hands shook as she rounded a corner too tightly, spilling a crate of cargo to the floor. She hurried on, ignoring the angry shouts behind her. She passed a vessel unloading exotic spices, another bearing ship parts, and a third loading passengers.

_He's here somewhere, I can feel it. Shepard, where are you?_

Frantically she half-ran to the next bay, turning and colliding with a cargo container. She fell to the floor, dazed.

"Easy there, lady. This isn't exactly a good place for a jog."

Liara's heart skipped a beat. _That voice…_

She stood quickly, and found herself mere feet from…

"Shepard." She breathed.

The man raised a brow quizzically. "Sorry, lady- think you've got me mixed up with somebody else."

* * *

_Author's note: Sorry about the shorter chapter this week. This just felt like a good spot to break ;)_

_Thanks all for your feedback and continued support! It keeps me going._

_Until next time!_

_-Zero_


	7. Altered States

_It's him!_

Her mind screamed as Liara tried desperately to remain objective. It wasn't an easy task. The human looked _exactly_ like Shepard. Everything about him was physically identical. His facial features, the rough stubble that was ever-present along his jaw, his piercing blue eyes…

_He's alive!_

Shepard looked physically fit. Liara appraised him from head to toe quickly. His clothes were simple: well-worn boots, dark trousers, and a t-shirt that was perhaps in another life white, now covered in dust and grime. There were no obvious scars that she didn't recognize; no visible signs of trauma. His hands looked slightly cut up, possibly from the containers he'd been carrying, but aside from that, the man looked completely healthy. He stared at her with his head cocked to the side, confusion evident on his face.

_How is this possible? It's as if he doesn't…_

"Shepard, it's me."

With a grunt, he set down the cargo container. "You'll have to excuse me, but I think you're confused. I'm pretty sure I'd remember meeting you before." The way he smiled made Liara melt. She shook herself, realization of what he'd just said hitting her fully. Lightning danced in the pit of her stomach.

"What do you mean you don't know me? Shepard-"

The man held up his hand. "Why do you keep calling me Shepard? Look, I get it, I resemble the guy from the vids… I hear it a lot, but-"

"Because it's you!" Liara interjected, stepping close to him. "I can feel it. It's you. I thought it wasn't possible, Shepard… How did you survive?"

The man backed away, putting his hands up in mock defense. "Look, lady- I'm trying to be clear here: I don't know you, and whoever you think I am, I'm not… aw, come on now…"

The man looked embarrassed. Liara didn't understand why until she realized she was crying, her jaw trembling and awash with hot tears.

_Goddess, what's happened? I can feel it's him… he's no copy. I don't know how this is possible, but he survived... and doesn't remember anything?_

Her mind slowly began to thaw the sense of icy dread spreading through her limbs, and a hypothesis began to form.

_Could it be some kind of brain trauma? Is it possible that the energy from the Crucible somehow wiped his memory? Or is it possible it's simply been repressed, and his real consciousness- the Shepard I know and love- lies dormant in his brain?_

The questions kept coming, and Liara had no answers. Human neurophysiology wasn't her area by any margin. She needed to get Shepard somewhere, and have him examined.

_But where? And how? How can I convince him…_

"Look I'm sorry for the trouble lady, but… I should go." His words sent another chill down Liara's spine.

_Even his mannerisms are the same! It's got to be him!_

Liara stammered, trying to think of a way to convince Shepard to stay. "Look, I know this is awkward-"

"I've gotta get this crate on board. We're due to leave any second. I'm not this 'Shepard'. My name's John."

Liara grabbed his arm as he turned, pulling him close. "Yes! John Shepard! That's your name!"

John's eyes grew dark as he pulled out of Liara's grasp. "No, lady. Just John." He turned and made for the last open cargo hatch on the small freighter. Liara followed a step behind, her mind racing to buy time. Conscious thought was nearly impossible with him so close. She couldn't focus, and had to keep reminding herself to breathe.

"How long have you been on this crew?"

John grunted and shoved the container into place. "Close twenty-two! Ready to depart!" he yelled. The automated door began to close on the compartment. He watched carefully, she noted. "Making sure nothing gets caught." The door sealed with a hiss and click before he turned to her. "A few days."

Liara stepped in front of him quickly, blocking his path. "And how long have you been on this station?"

He squinted at her, as if measuring her up. "If I answer a few more of your questions, will you get the hell out of my way? I've got work to do here."

She nodded vigorously. "A few more questions, I promise."

John shrugged and sighed. "I woke up a few days ago here in a clinic. I didn't have any papers, no credit chit, nothing. If I had to guess, I'd say I was some kind of war refugee." He brushed off his hands on his pants and turned toward the gangway of the vessel. "These guys needed some extra help. I need money to buy ID and to get off this rock. Maybe after that, I can try to piece together my past."

Her brow twitched. "What do you mean, piece together your past?"

He tapped his head with a few fingers. "I woke up without any memory. No clue who I am, or where I belong."

Liara's eyes went wide. _Goddess…_

"It's _you_, Shepard. Whether you believe it or not. You're the man I…" she swallowed hard. "I know you quite well."

_And you belong with me._

John shook his head. Anger flashed in his features. "I have a pretty hard time believing that. If I was so goddamn important, why the hell wasn't anyone out looking for me? Why was no one here when I woke up? Why are you the first person to show up and I've been on my feet for a week?"

Liara looked hurt. She stepped closer, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Shepard, we thought you were dead! It's been over a year! No one could anticipate-"

He waved his hands angrily and shrugged her off. The movement was rough and unfriendly. "Enough! Stop calling me that. I'm not your guy. Whatever bullshit you're selling, I'm not buying. Outta my way!" With that outburst, he stormed down the gangway. The airlock's hatch closed behind him, and Liara was left alone.

She sank to her knees, sobbing.

* * *

_Author's note: I know this one is a little short; I wanted this encounter to stand on its own._

_Thanks to everyone for your continued support. I'm working at a new job which has somewhat diminished my capacity to just sit and write, but chapters will keep coming as fast as I can finish them._

_Until next time._

_-Zero_


	8. Blood on the Scales

Liara didn't know exactly how long she'd been on her knees feeling her world fall apart all over again before Bray helped her up.

"I've got those records you asked for." He said, ignoring her state of distress. Liara nodded slowly, wiping her tears away.

_Focus on the problem. Figure out what happened here._

Liara nodded to herself. "I'd like to take a look now, please." Bray led the way back to the control room, where he set Liara before a terminal with several monitors.

"Shipping records on the left, surveillance in the middle, crew and passenger manifests on the right." Bray stepped back and crossed his massive arms, leaning against the wall.

Liara turned to her work and tried to clear her head.

_Focus. There has to be something here. If I can find out what happened, maybe I can…_

…_Can what?_

Liara shook her head, abolishing the notion that she had no idea what she was doing. She needed more information about Shepard. This was the best place to start.

First, Liara confirmed her worst fear: determining exactly how Shepard got to Omega was an impossibility. Records from the days and weeks following the Reaper War were spotty at best: refugees poured into the station seeking shelter and medical attention. Passenger manifests were loaded with numbers, and vast empty spaces for names. Without proper facial recognition software, going through all the film of people entering the station seemed like a waste of time as well.

Instead, Liara focused on the film of the docks. She began to play through weeks of film at double speed, looking for the first sign of Shepard. She opened her omnitool and began taking notes.

**Day Zero- Crucible Event**

**Zero plus 542- Shepard first spotted on Omega docks**

At this point, Liara made an effort to string together film to simply follow Shepard around the docks. It wasn't always easy, as some areas had no working surveillance, but she managed to piece together several days, including today.

_He clearly has no idea who he is… he shows up on the docks and just asks for work. I need a way to identify him for certain. How can I confirm it's really Shepard? Goddess, help me._

Liara stared at the monitor, watching the man she loved completing mundane tasks: moving shipping containers, weighing freight on the scale before loading them into the vessel-

_What was that?_

Liara backed the film up. She watched with rapt interest as Shepard dropped a container on the scale carelessly, grasping his hand to his chest. He walked to a medi-gel dispenser on the nearby bulkhead and rubbed an application on his left hand.

_There's blood on that scale. _

Liara was out the door before Bray could even move from his position resting against the wall. She ran to the bay from which Shepard had just departed, looking frantically for the scale. Once she found it, she began scanning with her omnitool carefully. The omnitool chirped once to indicate human genetic material had been detected. She scanned the blood spatter carefully, recording everything.

"Find something?" Bray asked from behind her.

"He cut himself. I'm taking a reading of the blood so I can match it against his Alliance service records. If it really is Shepard-" Liara's heart fluttered- "then it should be an exact match."

Bray grunted. "If anyone could've survived that nightmare, I'd put odds on Shepard. Saw him in action here on Omega when Cerberus took over. That guy…" Bray shook his head. "You'll understand the expression when I say, he's not human."

Liara smiled, thinking back to dozens of hair-raising combat situations Shepard seemed to move through effortlessly. "He came back from the dead once before. Knowing Shepard, it wouldn't shock me to find that he's discovered a way to do it again." She turned to the batarian. "Thank you, Bray."

He shrugged. "For what?"

Liara thought for a moment before answering. "For giving me hope again."

Bray only grunted in reply. "What now?"

"Now I need to talk to Aria again."

Bray nodded and keyed his omnitool, signaling his men. "By the way, I'd appreciate it if you not attack Aria again. She has a habit of eliminating people who fail her, and I happen to like living."

Liara nodded. "Of course."

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Aria sighed with irritation as Liara walked up the stairs to the dais, her eyes narrowing to slits. "I thought I made it clear I want you off this station… the sooner, the better."

Liara said nothing, taking a seat on the sofa.

"So, was it him?" Aria asked.

Liara shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. He says he doesn't remember anything. I have a blood sample I need to test, and then I'll get off the station, with your help."

Aria raised a brow. "_My_ help? My help is generally expensive."

Liara nodded seriously. "I'm sure I can afford it. I need access to an extranet terminal, and then I need a ship."

Aria let out a laugh. "A ship? You assume a great deal, Doctor. I thought you science types didn't like to assume anything."

Liara almost rolled her eyes, but thought better of it. "Surely if you don't have one, a mercenary contact of yours does. There would be a finder's fee involved."

Aria's eyes narrowed again, examining Liara closely. Liara gave her best blank face.

_Shepard used to call that his poker face._

The moment the thought crossed her mind, the fiery agony raged through her veins. Liara swallowed hard.

"As it happens, I do have a few vessels around. Nothing fancy- a few small ships, which I assume you're in the market for, since you don't have a crew?"

Liara nodded. "As long as it has an FTL drive and gets from nav point A to nav point B."

Aria only nodded. "There is a terminal down in the VIP lounge, directly below this balcony. Bray will show you the way. While you're at the terminal, I'll expect ten million credits delivered to my account- Bray will leave that with you, and then leave you to your business. When you're ready to leave, the ship is docked in bay 94. It's an interesting toy Cerberus left behind after their little invasion. Don't worry; I had the Cerberus insignias removed." She grinned wickedly.

Liara stood up. "Thank you for everything, Aria." She turned to leave.

"Liara." Aria stood, and approached her. "If Shepard is alive, you might be careful who you tell. I will always think of Shepard as something of an ally- others may not remember him so kindly."

Liara hurried down the stairs to the lavishly furnished VIP lounge. She ignored the sofas and chairs, and walked past the private bar to the terminal in the back corner of the room. Opening her omnitool, Liara transferred the credits from one of the Shadow Broker accounts to Aria's. Business completed, she turned her attention to the blood sample, and began to use one of the many backdoors she had placed in the Alliance network during the reconstruction. After working her way around an added firewall that hadn't previously existed, she quickly attempted to access Shepard's file. Liara had to re-enter her search parameters three times, her hands shook so badly.

Anxiously she awaited the search results, pacing the room. After what seemed like hours, the terminal blared a harsh warning sound. A message prompt appeared on the screen, and Liara frowned heavily as she read.

**Search results denied. Data flagged by Admiralty. Activating homing procedures.**

**Alliance personnel have been alerted to your location. Please stand by…..**

The terminal's comm unit opened almost at once. "Attention Alliance personnel, this file is restricted. Access granted expressly by the Admiralty. Identify yourself at once."

Liara sighed. She had known accessing the Alliance network would be risky, but had no other options available. She turned to face on the monitor. "This is Dr. Liara T'soni. I am a civilian contractor working directly for Admiral Hackett, and I need access to this file."

The officer on the screen stood from her chair, and was quickly replaced by a clearly angry Hackett. Liara sighed inwardly.

"Dr T'soni, I'm hoping you have a reasonable explanation as to why the _Stargazer_ left Earth with two people on board, and returned missing half its flight crew."

Liara thought carefully before replying. "Admiral, I apologize for not completing the mission, but something came up that required my immediate attention."

Hackett was not amused. "Liara, what the hell is going on? You vanish from Palaven and fly off to…" he glanced down at the terminal. "Omega? And now I've got here a records search request for Shepard's biometric data?"

Liara sighed. "It's a long story, Admiral."

Hackett shook his head. "Well, you'll have lots of time to explain when our agents take you into custody. I suggest, for your sake, you stay put. They're en route."

Liara quickly reached out and closed the channel.

_What are the odds I can make it out of here without having to shoot Alliance personnel? And more importantly… how can I find out if this blood is really Shepard's? Who besides the Alliance would have those kinds of records…?_

_Miranda._

Liara stood from the console, and ran for the docks.

* * *

_Author's note: Thanks for reading! Sorry about the delay; my new job is taking considerably more time away from my writing than I thought it would. I'm hoping in a few weeks I can get back to a 'scheduled' release, but it all depends on how things shake out. _

_As always, thanks to Owelpost for input and inspiration, and thanks to each of you for your feedback!_

_Until next time._

_-Zero_


	9. Duty and Friendship

The ship was nicer than Liara expected. Fast, agile, with a military-grade sensor array, some limited stealth capabilities, and more weapons than Liara knew what to do with. Designed to be crewed by a single mercenary with the help of an impressive suite of electronics and an incredible VI, the _Light Echo_ was exactly what Liara needed.

Liara made contact with Feron to let him know how Omega had turned out. She also sent out a message to the entire Shadow Broker network.

**Attention all agents:**

**PRIORITY ONE. Place all non-essential tasks on standby to execute the following:**

**Locate former Cerberus agent Miranda Lawson and report whereabouts to Shadow Broker immediately. Do not attempt to approach, detain, or interact with Lawson.**

**Follow all security level Red communication protocols.**

And then, she waited alone with her thoughts. Upon leaving Omega, Liara had quickly realized she had no destination until she located Miranda. Waiting near Omega seemed like inviting trouble while the Alliance was searching for her, so Liara had set a course for the uninhabited planet Dorgal in the nearby Fathar system. She orbited the planet, setting the ship to autopilot and laid in her rack, staring at the bulkhead.

_This _has_ to work. Miranda will be able to get me to a Cerberus facility where we can access the old Lazarus data. Then we can match the blood sample I got from Omega against his records and I can finally put this to rest…_

_Unless of course he _is _Shepard, in which case I'll be racing across the galaxy trying to find him._

…_And what happens when I do find him?_

That gave Liara a moment of pause. Try as she might, she couldn't plan for that outcome. She continued staring at the bulkhead, and tried not to think as the hours rolled by.

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Liara sighed contentedly, snuggling closer to the warm body beside her.

"Hey… wow. Look who's here."

Liara began to sit up in bed, and found herself staring into his eyes. His lips were unbelievably soft against hers as he kissed her. She sighed.

"I wish we could spend every morning like this."

He smiled and propped himself up on one side, head rested in his hand. "Maybe there's still time. You haven't given up yet, have you?"

Liara lowered her head in thought before returning her eyes to his rapt gaze. "No. In my heart, I know I'll keep looking for you."

He let out a soft chuckle before leaning forward and kissing her forehead. Liara smiled.

"I love you, Shepard."

A chirp from the communications terminal interrupted her dozing. Liara sprang from the bunk and situated herself in the cockpit. She quickly set up her communication security protocols: a false image on the monitor and a voice modulator, along with the usual trappings to hide her location.

"This is the Shadow Broker. Code in." Liara decrypted the incoming data packet, and then activated the channel. "Go ahead, Agent."

A mechanical breathing sound crackled through the speakers. "This is Agent"- breath- "Niftu Cal. I have-" breath- "the target Miranda Lawson in sight."

Liara couldn't help but smile. She recalled with amusement the story of how Shepard had met Niftu Cal on Illium. "Very well, Agent. Are you still on Illium?"

The former 'biotic god' on the screen nodded vigorously. "Yes, Shadow Broker. I have-" breath- "secured several hundred thousand credits for your-" breath- "accounts. You should have a quarterly report soon."

Liara was already plotting a course as she replied. "Excellent work. Maintain visual on Lawson. Agent T'soni will meet you and you will hand the target off to her."

The Volus nodded. "Very well."

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Liara arrived at Nos Astra on Illium without fanfare. The _Light Echo _was now patched into the Shadow Broker's network, and Liara had done extensive work on the ship's background, as well as her own. She knew after having run a successful information brokerage here that several people would investigate the strange new vessel and its crew. A cursory glance would show the _Light Echo_ hailed from Virmire, and was owned by a successful bounty hunter living comfortably on the edge of the Terminus systems, happy to work for anyone with enough credits. Satisfied with her cover story, Liara disembarked and immediately headed for her rendezvous.

Niftu Cal was seated at a booth in the rear of Eternity, looking agitated. Liara quickly walked to his table and sat across from him.

"Where is she?" Liara asked shortly.

The Volus took two breaths before he answered, "She is currently at the Illium Springs living complex." Another breath. "She appears to be helping someone move in."

Liara nodded and stood from the table. "Return to your usual duties. I'll handle it from here." She half-ran from the bar to the nearest taxi stand, and signaled for a ride. Her mind raced as she waited.

_Why would Miranda be moving in on Illium? No… Niftu Cal said she was helping someone move in… but who?_

The skycar taxi dropped her at the main entrance of the Illium Springs facility. The long front walk was divided in half by a long waist-high water feature. The outside of the building was simple, with decorative patterns chasing across the stonework. Liara entered the lobby and looked about. The floor-to-ceiling windows streamed light inside, reflections bouncing off the water fountain that dominated the center of the area. Potted shrubs and benches were placed around the room. The far wall was dominated by a bank of elevators. As Liara approached, one door opened, and she smiled at her good fortune as Miranda stepped out onto the floor.

It slightly unnerved Liara to see how little Miranda had changed. Gone was the skin-tight bodysuit that she'd worn in her Cerberus days. Miranda wore a short black jacket over a dark red top. Her pants were black, and tucked into thigh-high black boots. Her movements were graceful, especially for a human. Her demeanor at first glance was cold, unfeeling. Liara knew this to be untrue, however. "Miranda."

Miranda spun on heel. "Liara? What are you doing here? I mean…" She broke into a smile. "It's good to see you again. What brings you to Illium?"

"You do." Liara glanced around. "I'm sorry to be abrupt. Is there somewhere we could speak in private?"

Miranda nodded. "I have a room upstairs. Come on."

They rode the elevator up in silence. Liara puzzled over in her mind exactly how to enlist Miranda's assistance. The elevator stopped, and Miranda led the way to a doorway near the end of the hall.

Liara followed Miranda into a modest apartment. The room was well-lit and lavishly furnished. "So," Miranda began, heading for the minibar, "why are you looking for me?"

Liara made her way to the sofa and seated herself. Miranda joined her a moment later, handing her a drink before seating herself on the opposite end of the sofa.

"I need your help, and you're not going to believe why."

Miranda raised a brow and smiled slightly, her curiosity piqued. "Interesting. Alright, what've you got?"

Liara opened her omnitool and played back the video feed from the Omega docks. Miranda's smile slowly eroded away as she watched the feed, replaced by a mix of shock and confusion.

"Is that Shepard? How did he survive? Where-" She stopped and looked at Liara, who had said nothing, staring out the room's picture window at the Illium skyline. "Tell me."

Liara took a long pull from her drink. "I'm not sure if it's him. Everything in me says it is, and I need to be sure."

Miranda nodded in understanding. "No doubt. Did you talk with him?"

Liara sighed and emptied her glass. "Yes. He appears to have no memory of me- of anything. He doesn't know who he is."

And now, Liara knew, she really had Miranda's attention. "The picture is starting to come into focus. You want my help to somehow verify he's Shepard, and restore his memory. You're hoping that my rather unique knowledge of his implants will benefit you."

Liara swirled the ice in her glass. "There's even more to it, I'm afraid." She sighed. "I have a blood sample. I want to match it against Cerberus records to verify his identity."

Miranda's expression grew puzzled, and she rearranged herself on the sofa. "Why not use the Alliance's military records? Surely you have access. You are working for them, after all."

Liara pursed her lips. "My employment status with the Alliance was compromised when I deserted an Alliance mission to pursue this lead… and then hacked into an Alliance data server while I was on Omega. I'm currently outrunning an Alliance team sent to escort me back to Earth."

Miranda let out a laugh. She stood, and took Liara's glass back to the bar, pouring another drink. "That story sounds so ridiculous that it's probably all true. I recall a conversation I once had with Shepard in which I said we lead such crazy lives. I think it's safe to say that applies to you as well, Liara." She turned from the bar and headed back to the sitting room. "There's one problem, and it's not easily overcome." Miranda handed the refilled tumbler to Liara and took up her relaxed pose on the sofa again. "I don't work for Cerberus anymore. But then, you knew that."

Liara sighed again. "I was hoping you might accompany me to a low-level Cerberus outpost and help me access their network."

Miranda shook her head. "That kind of data was compartmentalized. Shepard wasn't exactly on what you would call Cerberus' personnel files. There's only one location that would've housed that particular bit of information, and that's Lazarus Station. Now, Lazarus was destroyed by the Illusive Man after Shepard and I escaped, but a crew was sent in to retrieve all the relevant data. That data was relocated."

"Do you know where it was moved to?"

Miranda nodded. "Like all Cerberus projects, upon closing, the data is brought to an offsite storage facility. There's a station in the Pax system- not far from the Illusive Man's hideout on Cronos Station, really. It was called Titan Station. There may have been some other purpose for the facility, but I never went there personally, so…" she turned to Liara, a quizzical look on her face. "Why do you ask?"

Liara said nothing, giving Miranda her best blank stare. Miranda practically leapt from her seat. "Out of the question." She walked to the bar and set down her glass. "What you're asking…" she stopped, and seemed to consider something for a moment.

_Did he affect you as well, Miranda?_

Miranda spoke quietly, as if reading Liara's thoughts. "What you're asking is no less than what Shepard would've done for any of us." She returned to her seat. "You know, I'm here on Illium getting my sister settled back in. She missed this place, and so after the war I agreed to help move her back." She smiled then, as if remembering something pleasant. "If it wasn't for Shepard, my sister wouldn't even be alive… _I_ wouldn't even be alive." She turned to Liara then.

"Listen, Liara. Titan Station almost certainly has the data you need, and more."

That confused her. "More? All I need is to…" her words trailed off as the implications set in.

_His memory. Miranda rebuilt him from next to nothing, and restored his memory. If the files she used to do that are still there…_

Miranda nodded as Liara's eyes widened in shock. "Yes. We may be able to restore his memory, or perhaps at the very least find something to help us in that direction."

Liara trembled at the idea.

_I won't stop until I have you back, Shepard. All of you._

* * *

_Author's note: Thanks for your patience, everyone, and I apologize for the delay. Between the new job, kids' birthdays, and the everyday rustic, it's getting tougher to get chapters out on a regular basis. I'll keep them coming as quick as I can :)  
_

_Until next time._

_-Zero_


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